He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
