giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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