how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
