So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dignity is for republicans.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
