im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
