At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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