is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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