Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
