his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
