You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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