Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
