he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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