I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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