you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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