I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Operation Purity has been aborted
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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