My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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