I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
