i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Randomize
