Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
try to milk me bitch
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