i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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