New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize