Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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