but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
