I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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