what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
