apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Randomize
