me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
