You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
