i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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