And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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