forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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