You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
