I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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