After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well most of my day revolves around power hour
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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