First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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