Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
