i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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