My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize