i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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