just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
