And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
