im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
