Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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