if i can run in heels then i can drive
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
