Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
