I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
