There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
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You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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