i don't like sucking hair
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize