We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
