just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
