worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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