what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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