Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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