did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
