You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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