i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
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On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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