It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
