He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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