I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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