you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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