What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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