after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize