YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
