this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
