Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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