His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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