you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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