Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
