What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize