Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
