Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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