I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize
